Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I think this is what started things...

So R and I met many years ago, a co-worker of my husband's. We spent many a night partying, all good clean fun. Then one night we were all out, and my husband and I had a fight, he stormed off and left the bar. Next I knew I was outside of the bar, talking to R and we confessed to one another, we had feelings for each other. We told each other that at parties we would always try to ensure we sat close to each other, and that we were the last ones to leave. I knew I felt that way, but never imagined he was feeling the same way. And then we had our first kiss that night. Nothing more happened as I was also out with some girlfriends. A few more parties were attended but now whenever we could find a moment, we would steal a kiss. We may have groped around a bit here and there, we always found a way to be the last two at the party so we could spend one on on time. It was so exciting to be kissing him and touching him. We both knew it was wrong, especially cause my husband is such a good guy, and a good friend to R, so we never took it further, despite having plenty of opportunities. Well then R moved away.

We kept in touch after his departure, but never saw each other. Then one day a couple of years ago, maybe three now, we began emailing each other. It started off pretty tame, then it just kept getting more heated and passionate. It got to the point where he and I would be pleasuring ourselves as a result of the messages. We started calling each other, and would talk each other through the 'deed'. We could not get enough. The first time I revealed this to anyone, it was to Kat of course, and to my surprise and comfort, she too was engaging in this type of relationship with an old flame of hers. But for her she was ready for the next step, an in-person meeting. I still remember her telling me about the plan to meet him, and I was so nervous for her and scared, and thinking that maybe she shouldn't go, as if she did there would be no turning back. She too was thrilled to hear that she was not alone in this type of behaviour, safety in numbers, right?! Anyway, me meeting up with R was not an option due to the distance, despite many conversations about him flying out to see me, talks of spending the day in his hotel room. It seemed it was almost going to materialize at one point, but never did and still has not, we did engage in some video chat, slightly closer than email (at least we could see each other).

Anyway, this passion was bubbling inside of me. Kat had now taken that first step and met her lover, and it was overwhelming for me. Although it terrified me, I too wanted to experience that. Then along came Big! We had been flirting for a couple years through our association with each other, but he is known to be a bit of an asshole in the community, but I was seeing a different side to him, we would attend meetings and I could feel him staring at me across the room. Then when we worked more closely together, I would catch him checking out my ass. I would share stories of my ladies' trips eluding to the fact that we were "girls gone wild" just to test the waters. Then we started making more calls to each other (had not really entered the world of texting yet) and invitations were being extended to come out for drinks, all under the guise of hooking up our mutual single friends. Then one morning, I asked him to meet me for coffee/lunch. In all honesty, I did not know where this was going to go, but it did feel different, it did feel like I was taking a step that I would never be able to take back. At most I thought maybe we would kiss.

So we met at a restaurant and made the usual small talk. Then we got to a point in the conversation about our relationships and his past marriage, and then he offered to basically mess around with me, if that is what I wanted. I was a bit shocked that he was so blunt about it, but at the same time jumping out of my skin, 'wholly crap, here we go' i was thinking...eeek. Anyway, we finished our lunch and walked out on the street to our cars. Just before departing, we came toward each other and that was it, we started to kiss, right there out on the street and then up against the fence, he stopped and said, "I knew you would be a good kisser!". Then we jumped into his car and madly started gropping and kissing like high school kids. It was such a surprise to me his behaviour as he seemed like such a 'boy' compared to this rough and rugged man I thought he was, everyone thought he was. But he was an excited boy, excited to discover my body, excited to be with ME. It was so hot! Well, we both had to go...so I got out of the car.

He had told me his girlfriend was going to be out of town all weekend. So the next day I called him and found some time to sneak away from home and go to his house. When I got to his house, he told me how excited he was to see me, and that he was feeling like a school boy. We essentially ripped each other's clothes off and next I knew were in bed, hands and mouths were flying (and let me say it was from this point further that Big got his name, as he was very well endowed), and just before the 'deed' was about to be embarked on, I whispered, 'I don't think I can do this' and then I did. I had done 'it' with another man! I could not believe it. And there it was, I had committed full-on adultery. And all I wanted was MORE!

I blame it all on R (and I tell him this to this day) that if he had not started with me, it would not have awakened all these feelings inside of me. I had all those feelings but no one to act upon them with, then along came BIG!

Big is/was the perfect lover...we still see each other on occasion still, two years later. I will write more specifically about him in my next blog...the first of my 'collection' and most definately not the last!

1 comment:

  1. I couldn't have said it better:

    "And there it was, I had committed full-on adultery. And all I wanted was MORE!"

    GLNO

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