Thursday, February 25, 2010

Post Hump Day...

Well one week ago today, I was given the ol' heave ho by A. The man who I thought I would be having a very lengthy affair with, the first man, I had connected emotionally with, the man who I thought would end my promiscuity!

But it's all good, A and I have maintained contact. We text or email daily, and there is even a bit of flirting and teasing still. I cannot just turn that off, that is who I am, and he knows and loves it and told me not to stop (and suprisingly he has reciprocated too)! In fact, A is planning on getting back to my city very soon to have lunch with me. I am really looking forward to that. I told him I will try to behave.

In the meantime, I finally created my own profile on AM; Kat made me! I must say, it is a full-time job trying to keep up with all the winks and picture requests and admirer notations...along with a lot of DELETING AND BLOCKING! Anyway, as I told you previously, I met up with P...I think I have finally shaken him, he really wanted to see me again, and I was totally up front with him that I just could not do it. I made no promises.

But since creating my own profile, I met M...yummmy...I had told Kat, that if I am going to do this, they have to be attractive to me at first glance, no more screwing up my face and squinting my eyes, trying to make them look appealing. So M is just that...very nice looking, nice body and nice BLEEP! (not that size matters). Anyway the only downside is that he is single, but the upside is he wants me and is very intrigued by a married woman wanting him, he calls it our "MISSION IMPOSSIBLE" (I had to chuckle at that, as it really is not that impossible, but I will play along!). He is doing his massage training and is studying tantra as well...I foresee some good times ahead. He also so far has given me a couple of tasks...today I was not supposed to wear panties (I forgot), yesterday he wanted me to go into the washroom and touch myself (I did that) and yesterday evening I was supposed to have sex with my husband at 11 p.m. (don't know about you, but I am tired by 10...I made it until 10:40..i think I came at 11:00). Anyway, first thing this morning I sent him a message to report on my success, and he returned the message with a picture of his success (of course it was his cock dripping wtih cum...nice way to start the day).

Anyway, we will see what happens. He lives in a different city so if it works out, it would be occasional visits, which is good.

I will keep my eyes open though...for a married one, and of course A will still be in my thoughts, maybe I can woo him back...he did call me his siren!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Joint Response to Anonymous

Okay, so I just had to respond to you Mr.Anonymous.

First of all, just so you know, our heads are not up our asses! Us, along with a lot of the other bloggers in the same boat as us, are living the same lifestyle. In fact, that is part of the reason we blog about this. Cause it exceeds the societal norms, but yet here we are, talking about it all, likely to gain some sort of understanding and yes, in a sick way, acceptance of the lifestyle we lead. Believe me, not speaking for everyone, but I judge myself everyday for the choices I continue to make. And just so you know, you WERE BEING JUDGMENTAL. But you are entitled to be, as those are your beliefs, and you are commenting on our lifestyle.

And also, I do not believe you are not accepting of your wife having an affair, you clearly are struggling with it as you are now reading blogs of other adulturers! You likely have chosen to accept her 'misgivings' so that you can keep your family unit together, as that is easier sometimes than to deal with the outfall of a messy divorce and custody issues. And that is okay too, a few years ago before I crossed the line, I would have been devastated by my husband my having an affair and certainly not accepting of it. Of course now, I feel differently as there are always circumstances (and also so you know, my husband has not been perfectly innocent, he is a human being too who acted up on a moment and needs).
So to address your comments to my blog 'ola amigo/amiga'. Did you read it? I thought I was expressing that I was confused about what I was doing, and I say "how has this become such a normal part of my life, but yet it is so wrong". I know how devastating it would be to him and to our family unit if he knew what I was doing. I don't know how I got here, but I am here now, and I cannot foresee in the near future stopping this behaviour. Everyday I try to understand why I choose to take the chance to lose it all. And that is why I have been questioning, do I really 'love' my husband? Is this what people do to those they 'love'? And yes, I said he would stay with me until the day he dies, but I have questioned him on that. Because there are times I feel he really does not like me, and I say to him, just cause you 'love' me, does not mean that you like me and want to be my partner. And that one should not stay with someone out of obligation or because of a piece of a paper. I think sometimes people stay with each other for the wrong reasons. I do ask myself, is it fair to stay with my husband, and not let him go so that he can find someone who is truly respectful of him and give him the adoration he needs. In fact, I have asked him that. My husband and I talk about everything, except for my extra-marital activities, we are constantly discussing our relationship. I wanted you to know that sometimes before you comment on other people's lives, that it is probably better to ask a few questions to maybe gain a better understanding of what may be going on with them.


Over to you Kat...

Wellllllllll...at first I was a bit pissed that you made the comments you made which involve my husband and I.  I did make a mistake in hashing out my issues in front of people and for that he knows I was truly sorry. 

The reason I started having an affair in the first place was because of the emptiness that I was feeling due to my husband's alcoholism.  He was having an affair with the bottle and I was turning to other men for attention and to fill the void.  Why did I not deal with his problem before turning to other men...believe me I tried and I continue to try.  My husband battles everyday with this problem and I am there to support him and love him to the best of my abilities.  So yes we both have our issues...me to sex and him to alcohol.  Does it make it right?  Absolutely not.  But it is what it is.  I struggle everyday, with Agnes by my side, to understand where I am going and what I am doing.  Right now my husband is not living with us due in part to his alcohol abuse.  I miss him everyday.  I don't know what the future holds for us and I hope that one day we can go back to where we were when we first married (without the alcohol and my need to seek out other men to fill a void).

In short, you cannot make judgment on us until you have seen the bigger picture.  I'm not putting blame on my husband for what I do although the blame has been put on me at times for what he does.  I'm sorry that your wife is having or was having an affair.  I can honestly say that as a woman we do it for different reasons than men do.  It is usually a need for attention or acceptance of who you are, or to finally be yourself without judgment.  I don't know your situation so I don't know why your wife is having an affair but believe me sometimes it is deeper rooted than just the need to have sex.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

WOW!!!

A few blogs ago I introduced DC who I met through the AM website. Just through some IMing I felt an immediate connection to. Last night as planned we met online through video chat. I was messmerized by his eyes..he has the most amazing piercing green eyes. We spent 2 hours talking and satisfying each others needs. I really like this one and hope that this will turn out to be my "long term" affair.

Now what to do about all the other men that have appeared in my life in the past little while. Let's see

Greg: I have to keep him around for a bit longer. Need to see where this goes but the longer I hold on to him the more I feel disconnected from him. So we will see how things go in our next meeting together, if it ever happens.

The Movie Producer: Met him on AM and although very interesting and and cute I'm not sure I can get past the voice. We talked on the phone yesterday and as soon as he started talking I knew that it just wasn't going to happen. May be fun to meet for coffee one time just chat.

But to be honest right now I'm really into DC and I really can't wait to meet him. We live 5 hours away from each other so not sure how that will work but he said he travels a lot with work and it wouldn't be a problem. I'll keep you guys all informed.

Cheers.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Kat's cast off...

What did I say about taking it slow??? Fek I have no self control!!!! Kat was so preoccupied today, she could not properly advise me and keep me in check! I blame her! LOL

So the local guy and I chatted all day at work, by lunch we determined we would meet after work, just to talk. I told him maybe a kiss but that was it.

As an aside, in between the chats with P, I got a sweet message from Swiss Mr. (he misses my ass and my pussy...awwww) and I was planting a seed with an old school flame for some fun (I think he is considering it...he will have sweet dreams tonite I am sure). And my Kiwi, contacted me, asking me if I got any cock this weekend and if I wanted his this week. I wasn't going to but I think I will hook up with him for sure on Thursday at Kat's house, and might even get to see him tomorrow for a warm up. I really do like him - maybe I should just stick with him. He always wants me, he is a cool guy, he is good looking (a bit short), fine body, great cock, it's just he gets cold feet every now and again. But it seems we are in a good place. The more I backed off the more cool he seems to be now too.

Anyway, back to P...so I drive to his office building and he takes me up the rooftop (a first) and we sit and talk...I can see that he is very happy to meet me, I am not so sure about meeting him. He is cute but definitely not the 5'9" he said he was and his voice was a bit small. A had the perfect deep controlling voice (I have a thing for voices). He almost did a bit of headroll when he talked. But there I was and he already was feeling a bit insecure in advance about meeting me. I just couldn't leave. So he said, 'are you going to leave and think about things?' at which point I should have said 'yes' but no, I say, 'let's have a kiss'! Fek. So we start kissing...well he is turned on immediately and the hands and mouths are moving about, then he takes my pants down and lays me down to give me oral, and second man now other than my husband to make me cum, in a stairwell yet! Shit...so now I have to pleasure him! So I give him head..another satisfied customer. Then, we stand up and are just staring at each other, and he is looking deep into my eyes, trying to read me...he says he sees a 'calmness'; I think he was confused with 'emptiness', cause that is how I felt. Why yes, I came...but I was not connected to him! Fek, now I have to let him down. I mean the one good thing about these situations, is that we make no promises to each other. We are already doing something we shouldn't be, so there is a bit less guilt than conventional, single dating, but hard nonetheless. So I started the let-down email when I got home. I have to ease this one off a bit as I think he saw a long future of fucking with me.

Why do I do this? Kat and I have a few theories...

So who did I text as soon as I got home...A...I asked him if it was okay that I told him I missed him, and he responded 'of course', so I replied, "I miss you!" I really am not hanging onto the idea of being together with him, but I really do miss his conversation and company (via text and email). He is a great guy...

So I guess I need to find another? or shall stick with the Kiwi and one night stands???

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Greg and all the others that I have added to my portforlio

So glad that Agnes is posting to our blogs because as of late I just haven't had the time or is it that I have chosen to spend my time chatting it up with potentials.

To start I have to say that I caved. I wasn't going to initiate more contact with Greg but after him and Agnes chatting it up about his trust tree and that he had a potential for Agnes I thought he obviously wants to keep the connection. And it seemed like he did...he wanted to hook up on the weekend but because I have my children full-time now it wasn't possible on such short notice. So I'm back on the Greg bandwagon but with a different attitude. No more waiting for him...if it happens well then so be it. If it doesn't well better luck next time.

Now on to the rest of the others. Out of curiosity I decided to create a profile on Ashley Madison. Wow it didn't take long to have a continuing stream of men messaging. I've never seen so many cock pictures in one week. haha Unfortunately a lot of the messages were coming from men that were not local. I'm not into doing the online fuck chatting. But tonight while starting to work on this blog I got a message from DC, although not in my area, he was a lot closer. We connected immediately and it was so refreshing not to have a guy start off by asking to see a picture of my pussy. haha So we chatted for hours and the more we talked the more I can't wait to meet him. We will see what happens in the future...

So that pretty well sums it up for me this week. Some attention from Greg, a lot of attention from the AM web site, and a new potential..DC.

Back in the saddle!

Well after a very rough Friday afternoon and evening, and teary Saturday morning, I am finally feeling a lot better about things with A (oh and lots of text messages and emails to A, just to talk things out...which he totally indulged, cause of course he is very considerate in that regard). My last message to A was, next time you are in town, legitimately, let's do lunch! He responded,"I was hoping the exact same thing". You know at the end of the day, I loved talking to him, and as much as I should completely cut him loose, I am not sure I can yet. But do know, I am not holding out any illusions that we will hook up again. Not really sure I care to actually, after an intense review of pros and cons, Kat has convinced me the cons outweigh the pros...one major con, he doesn't like dogs! Who doesn't like dogs? LOL

So Friday after work, as a distraction, I headed over to Kat's and we began searching on AM for a new propsect for me. A few messages were sent out, some photos exchanged and I am now talking to P (I had to cut off two others, nice guys, but no physical attraction). Don't worry, I will take it slow! So far, nice guy, funny and not desperate...and local!

Oh and I made some hot eye contact last night while out at a dance with my hub. I desperately wanted to give him my number, and his eyes looked like they wanted that too. I even got busted by hub while we were checking each other. My hub said, "You were totally checking that guy out!" (he laughed about it, and so did I).

Anyway, feeling a lot better about everything. Man, I hate that crazed feeling...hate going there, feel so weak and out control! But I think I am back!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Next!!!!

Okay, so I am closing the shortlived chapter of A...Fek! So embarrassed, but I guess we all have to have experiences to make better choices and decisions in subsequent experiences, right?

Well, I drove A to the airport this morning. Of course I called Kat on my way as I had an epiphany, a realization about this whole situation. I realized that if A told me he wanted to continue, is that what I wanted? Did I want to settle? I will not go into details about our night together, but there were some 'flags' per se. I knew after we had sex the first time, that he withdrew and likely should have left at that point. But I didn't (and got two more good bangs and some good head out of the deal...sex is sex right! LOL). Anyway, when I spoke to Kat this morning on my way to see him, I discussed with her what I was feeling about all this and what I was going to say to him before he had a chance to speak his piece. I told her that I did this cause I desired to be with a man who desired me as much as I desired them, and that this type of extra-marital activity should have warranted passion all night long, and the need to be touched and touching one another physically, just like with my swiss mr. And while he said he wanted to do this, he physically could not do it (after the first session, which he admitted is where images of his family were too powerful and which prevented him from giving me that). Anyway, I told Kat that if I proceeded with him I would be settling and that i did not feel he was capable of giving me this ever, for whatever reason, and that I knew it was not me, but it was him and his issues. BELIEVE ME THIS IS A HUGE REALIZATION FOR ME, TO NOT SETTLE!

Anyway, I picked him up at his hotel this morning and drove him to the airport. And then I opened up. Before I started talking though he wanted to tell me that whatever I had to tell him, he would not be responding until he had some time to digest everything because he felt he needed to do that. I also asked him at what point did his family come into play (I wanted confirmation of that as I knew it was after the first time, but just needed him to say that before I spoke my piece). Then I proceeded to tell him my analysis of the whole thing and perception of what went on, and when it started to turn. I might be a lot of things, a lot of them probably not so good, but I am perceptive and can pick up on what people are laying down. I don't always like what I see or hear, and most definitely choose to ignore some stuff for my own selfish reasons and self preservation. And bottom line, I told him that I needed as much from him as I gave to him, and that I would not be settling. That I did not need another husband, nor did he need another wife. When he got out of the car, he gave me a peck, and said he would talk to me Sunday.

Well, of course we know how painful that was going to be, mostly for Kat! (as she would have to listen to me analyzing all weekend!). Anyway, she suggested maybe I write to him first, but I said I wanted to hear from him first. So low and behold, he could not wait either, he sent me a lengthy message. The gist of it was, he came to the realization ("too late" he said) that he is not cut out for this 'double-life', he is totally attracted to me though and the sex was great (of course it was, his wife never even lets him have oral or has given him a blow job!), he couldn't give me what I needed and it was because of his feelings of guilt, and a bunch of other stuff. And he asked if we should cut off all communication, what did I want to do? (I knew this would come up cause I said to him the car that based on his personality and mine, this part would be difficult cause we both like to stay in touch with people, plus we know we really enjoyed talking to each other, it really was not all sex talk). Anyway I did respond by email, I told him I already knew all he had to say, I also told him in some ways I was envious of his realization, I said it would be best to go cold turkey, but I also did say if circumstances ever changed for either of us, that I may consider seeing him again (I know, so weak, believe me I will hear from Kat on that one! I get attached, what can I say!).

Anyway, the end (well likely there will be more, there always is) to another chapter in this life of infidelity. Oh, and he said, he would not be having any other relationships outside of his marriage, I told him I could not say the same thing!

Okay, any guys out there free to get together for some NSA sex? So everyone, shall I try looking for another lover? or stick to just having some fun? Not sure I can go through that again...Oh hold on...the Kiwi is texting me right now and I have a lunch date offer from a friend (with potential benefits!)...no shortage of men out there I guess!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

A...to be continued

Fek, Fek, Fek...we met, the sparks flew, we fekd 4 times (finished in the shower this morning), first guy to actually take his time and make me cum from oral, not just was the sex great, but it was different because of this crazy emotional connection we have, and he might be gone...we are meeting later today to talk about it all. I got that horrible gut feeling this morning that this may have been the first and last time we are to meet, and I called him on it and I was right. I feel like I could vomit right now! He is not feeling guilty about the wife AT ALL and I believe it, but fatherhood...he has assured me not to throw in the towel yet, but I think I already know where the conversation is going to go.

Of course all I want to do now is go out and just fuck some random guy, cause I am feeling that maybe that is all I deserve! I am hurt, angry, embarrassed and more...I hate this shit!!!!!

But stay tuned, you never know what could happen.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

We feel like screaming!!!

So stoked for Agnes. She just left to meet A full of nerves but excitement. Thankfully she put her neck out and so wasn't able to do her "sport" and so not stinky when meeting him. (Okay I just realized what I just wrote, sucks that she put out her neck but I had serious concerns about her showing up all stinky) She just sent me a text "HE'S BIG"...to which I responded "send me a pic"hehe We do share everything after all. I can hear her SCREAMS OF ECSTASY now.

So yes I must say I'm super jealous of Agnes. I had a very frustrating day today as I got up this morning and decided that I would delete Greg's number from my phone. I sent him a "happy V day" message and all I got back was "you too". Like seriously "you too" that is what I get. So after a lot of distant messages as of late I decided to do it..get it over with. Remove the temptation. So I did it..gone, removed. I felt good because for me removing a number is the closure that I need.

As I'm sitting at my desk I hear my phone buzzing and thinking it was just Agnes sending her 100th text about how nervous she was about her upcoming evening with A. But no it's Greg.."I want your body, Happy Humping"...WTF WHY did he have to send me a text...FUCK!!! So while I'm telling Agnes about the text she says "ya I know I got one too"...huh? He send Agnes a text about the guy that she had hooked up with that is in his trust tree. Which is when Agnes starts messaging him back asking him why he hasn't been communicating with me. His response to that was "I have we talk every other day". Hmmmmm not sure what he is talking about as I haven't heard from him in weeks. So now what do I do...do I respond and get all excited that he still wants me? Do I ignore it and pretend I didn't get it and hope that I can have the control not to respond? WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!!!!! As Agnes is trying to talk me off the ledge and of course she is always for sending the messages and ignoring the fact that he hasn't responded to any of my messages in a while I decide to respond with "you too". Hey I figured if he can send such unemotional messages so can I. But the problem now is that I have just joined into "the game". I hate the Game so yes I am SCREAMING WITH FRUSTRATION.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

One more...restless night....

Who am I kidding? I cannot sleep! I am running on adrenalin! A called me this morning and he was laughing at how giddy I am! I am doing a happy dance in my head every second of the day, and the sun is shining today, the birds are singing, cannot get more glorious than this...well it can and hopefully it will tomorrow night!

So Kat is laughing at me as my 'plan' tomorrow night (and let me just share, another added bonus to A so far, is he is also a planner!), is for me to go see A after a sporting practice I have. She cannot believe I am just going to go to the hotel in my sweaty clothes, but I am! And you know what, I already told A and he loves that I have the confidence to show up like that! (truthfully I am just lazy) And don't worry, the shower will be the first stop!

INSERT SCREAM HERE....Bear with me everyone...giddy school girl on the loose!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Two More Sleeps...

Sorry, hope you are all not getting nauseated by my countdown...but I am jumping out of my skin excited.

A called me this morning super quick while the wife was sending the kids off to school. He will be out of contact for the most part as he is going skiing just with the wife today. Anyway, he just wanted to tell me how excited he was that I may now be staying the night. I can hardly believe it myself. I am so nervous and excited all at the same time, and even a bit unsure about the overnight. But I know I will likely just go into autopilot like I usually do and just go for it. And as you all know who have experienced this, as soon as you see each other all the fears and nervousness fall away...

The odd thing is though, and partly why I am writing today is, I had the craziest sexual dream about Big last night! It woke me up! I mean I was tossing and turning all night about meeting A, but then I had this hot dirty dream about Big. Why is he re-surfacing in my mind?

I am trying to trim the fat, so to speak, focus only on A...I do not need these other men cluttering my brain! FOCUS!!!!!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

A weekend of lots of tears and maybe a few orgasms...

So where to start or to continue on with Agnes's blogs maybe. I was dealing with some pretty heavy family issues (husband) but I couldn't let him or his problems come in the way of my night with the girls. I didn't even think that I would be into it but as it turned out after a few drinks I was more than raring to go (doesn't take me much). I should have predicted how the evening was going to end just from the ride to the bar as we were already teasing Agnes's husband about how he could be "eating out" 4 beautiful woman..haha. Agnes and I are convinced that he went home with a raging hard on, poor guy.

We were all having an amazing time, getting the attention of a lot of men. Not to be vain or anything but we tend to be the attention of a bar only because we are the ones that look like we are having the most fun...well we probably are. After a while it was time for me to work my magic..poof Kat disappeared into thin air. I did tell Agnes I was leaving but not sure if it registered with her until it was too late I was already getting into a cab with my young student (20ish I think) yikes. We got to his place but he had left his keys with his roommate who was still at the bar so why not just start things off outside while we waited. He kept on saying "fuck you have the luckiest husband" as I am giving him "the best fucking bj". haha oh these poor young boys. Just as he was cumming in my mouth his buddy pulled up and we finally were able to go inside. We all chatted for a while but his friend was even hotter than him so I knew I had to have a piece of him. I know so whorish but I couldn't help it. It was like a scene from a porno and I was in the center of it all.

Thankfully after a while my young architect took me into his room alone (mfm really isn't all that special) and I must say for such a young man he was pretty good. I can't help thinking that I have corrupted them in some way though. Oh well...a story that they can tell for a while until the next best thing comes along.

Agnes kept calling so I totally had to go and I met up with Agnes at "some house" where she was with her "guy friend" that she hasn't tapped as of yet and sort of hoping she doesn't. Just don't think it would be good for their friendship. Anyways, as we were waiting for our other friend L, Agnes left me alone with creepy guy...seriously Agnes don't ever do that again. He tried to get with me, touching me and shit...seriously creeping me out. I told him that I had just had sex with two young boys and the last thing I wanted was to be touched. Thankfully L got there and we all left.

The next morning I felt physically and mentally drained and the fact that the problem I had left behind the night before was not going to be going away made things even worse. So needless to say yesterday I did the whole "I'm never drinking or having sex ever again"...LMFAO who the hell am I kidding.

Well happy V day everyone..hope you all had a good one because mine well...sucked ass!

3 more sleeps...

So tough because A was at a swimmeet all weekend with the wife! But he did manage to call me twice. I am bursting out of my skin excited! I think I am going to pick A up from the airport, and due to circumstances in Kat's life, I might even be able to sneak away for the night, but not 100% about that yet. Stay tuned! Agnes

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Only 7 more sleeps....

It is only 7 more nights before I get to meet A in person. It is craziness I say, craziness. We have talked every day on the phone since we met...online! He has the sexiest voice, the conversation just flows, we even tease one another that the other talks too much. We cannot get enough of each other, if you could eat someone up through email or the phone, we would do that to each other.

I am really, really, really hoping that we connect on a physical level. I mean, based on photographs, we are both very attracted to each other, and then this connection we are having just through phone and email and text, this could be explosive if it all comes together. Kat keeps bugging me cause I have commented on the size of his hands, and really it is not just because of the correlation between hand size and cock size (if that really is true) but I love a man with nice strong hands, mmmm a nice little hair tug with those hands! And a nice strong voice, nothing sexier!

Well we are both bursting, and counting down...the current plan is, he arrives Wednesday night at around 7 (I so wish I could pick him up at the airport!), and then I will go to his hotel Thursday morning, freaking out here (insert big scream), and then, if all goes well, I go back after work...and then if we are still enjoying each other, he may come out to the airport early and I will go pick him up to say goodbye, before I have to take my daughter to school. IF THIS ALL COMES TOGETHER, crossing every body part that it does, I know it will be torture to say goodbye and wait for the next meeting (which is already tentatively in place...I love that he loves to plan like me! Kat will be puking a little bit in her mouth with that comment...she is not a planner, in fact I think I drive her mad sometimes!).

Anyway, I feel a bit bad that here I am jumping out of my skin excited and Kat is awaiting a response to her message to Greg. It was a necessary step, and really it could go either way. Either way, she is a strong woman (way stronger than I am) and she will be right back in the saddle in no time...onward and upward I say!

Agnes

Whatever happens happens

Well after a lack of communication from Greg I have decided that he needs to know exactly how I feel about him and how things are going as of late.  If he decides that he wants to call it quits than so be it...but I need to know, for closure.  This is what I sent him:


One of the reasons I step out of my marriage is to get the extra attention that I crave and don't seem to get from my husband. At first when we were first communicating with each other I was on a constant high..knowing that you wanted this as much as I did. Now I'm starting to wonder if it is a bit one sided. I have no doubt in my mind that we could have continued our affair with each other for a long period of time. I didn't mind making the effort to come down to ____ to see you but the problem is that you don't seem to be as into it as I am. Please correct me if I'm wrong but as of late your lack of communication has made me wonder if this is really what you want. If you have moved on to someone else or have decided to be faithful to your wife than I am totally okay with that but please let me know so that I don't feel like a crazy stalker chick sending you messages but never getting anything back.




The other reason of course as we both know is purely sexual. Like you once said "sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't" I felt that with us it totally worked but maybe I am wrong about that too.



Would really appreciate you being honest with me in this completely dishonest world that we live in.



Thanks...;)

So I am prepared for the response (if I get one that is).  I feel sick to my stomach about letting this part of my life go but it wasn't healthy either.  I was never the type of girl that would send countless amounts of messages (Agnes can attest to that) but when I did I would totally expect a response.  Even a simple "hey I'm really busy right now..ttyl".  Not to much to ask for right.  Just common courtesy.  Anyways, that's my rant for the day.  I feel good about it actually and I think I'm ready to move on to BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS..if you know what I mean.  I'm not going to get all emotional about this because well it is what it is.  We put ourselves out there and we have to accept the consequences if it just doesn't work out.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Extra-marital Affairs - Rules to live by

Neither of us gets upset if we have to buckle down on work from time to time and appear to be less communicative than usual. Both of us accept that the work sometimes has to come first, and we don't mean it or take it personally.


If, God forbid, one of our spouses finds out, the person who is caught does everything necessary to protect the identity of the other. Then we figure out how to continue it without being caught!

We respect each other at all times. In practice, respect means that we are open with each other.

We protect each other's personal safety always. If one of us remains involved with someone else (which, technically, could only be you since I'm not involved with anyone), or has contact with others, we take precautions.

Each of us feels completely free to share fantasies and wishes without fear of being judged. But, on the other side of the coin, neither one of us feels compelled to do anything with which we might not be comfortable. In short, we recognize that we both want to experiment and have new, wonderful experiences together; but we don't do things we're both not comfortable with.

We don't phone the other at home (a no brainer).

We don't use first names in emails or texts.

Feet off ground...

I seriously am in disbelief right now...Kat is Green and I am just wondering what has hit me, and when will I come back down to reality.

So as you know, or from what you have read so far, Kat and I have been pretty busy, I have not yet completed my entire story to date, there are still a few more encounters to add. But as this has been evolving we have started to change and grow in this crazy and strange world of adultery. For me, I think it was just about sex at first and acting on that raw impulse, not denying it and just going for it. But as time has gone on, I have been feeling a bit cheap and easy, and have been settling for guys I normally would never have considered or been attracted to, almost thinking that this was the best I could get now...and maybe this is all that I deserved! Some of my choices have left me in tears, how can that be good? Anyway, I think it was maybe in the fall, I commented to Kat that I think I need a 'lover', a real live affair, I needed and deserved more! (now for me this is a bit crazy as I have a very attentive, loving husband, 99.9% of the time, Kat knows what the 1% is)

So, our mission changed, we were going to find me a lover, Kat was already developing this with Greg, so that is why I am not saying US. Of course we know how well that went (or do we yet? not sure if we have got there yet in either of our blogs...anyway, it ended in a one night stand, with no number and no promise of a second encounter!). A few more one-nighters, and some more reading of blogs, Kat and I decided maybe I should go online. Well, you saw that I did that...and you saw who I was attracting, in fact I am still getting winks from men over the age of 50 (once again out of my criteria) and who live on the other side of the country with no means for travel!). So I added a profile to the site Kat was on, so I could message without paying (paying just seems like such a committment). I immediately sent out 4 messages (one in NY just cause he was cute). Of course, no responses to any of them, so I sent a second one to A (not sure I told Kat that part, but she would not be surprised, I am persistent to say the least). Anyway, he responded and we exchanged pictures (had to get Kat's approval on the picture, she gave me the thumbs up). And now we are 5 days in, and it is non-stop texting, 3 or 4 phone calls, lots of emails, and he is coming to see me next Tuesday or Thursday, we are still trying to figure that out, plus we are planning into March, and the summer months. He is so attentive, he thinks I am sexy, we have already created a set of rules that work for both of us, mind you I take offence to "we drink only red wine and no bowling!" (I like white too, and bowling is fun sometimes!).

Anyway, I am not trying to get too excited cause we have not met in person yet, and who knows we may not connect physically (seems next to impossible from our conversations) but you never know. I also feel a bit guilty cause Greg has not been super attentive...I think this is what twins feel like?! But I do know she is happy for me, as I would be for her too, and I know Greg is still around, who could not want to be around her, he is by no means done with her yet!!!! Here is A's last message to me yesterday "I love what we're creating." Stay tuned for more...Agnes

Monday, February 8, 2010

Green With Envy

So the one thing I have always wanted for Agnes was to find that perfect lover..the one that would give her lots of attention and see her for the special person that she is...well I'm pretty sure she finally found him.  I will let her talk more about A when she gets a chance.

After hearing about A I was so yearning to hear from Greg.  I wasn't going to message him...let him come to me but after a week and a half I broke down.  It's strange really since I had sex with two guys in one night last weekend and I should be satisfied.  But Greg you could say is so much more than just a great lay.  When I am with him it is all about me and him making sure that I am completely satisfied all night long.  That's hot...a man that gets off seeing me cum over and over and over again.  I wish there were more like him.  Woops just went off on a tangent there...he messaged me right back and the prospect of seeing him again is so exciting.  Fuck I wish he lived closer so I could have him more often.  Good thing we make it count when we are together.

Interested to see how this next weekend plays out.  Another night out with the girls is planned..see if Agnes will resist the temptation now that she has found a new man..hmmmmm???

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Insignificant Numbers "Part Deux"

I'm trying to rack my brain to figure out who came next...who was after the dreaded weekend away.   I think it was the Pilot.  Yes that's right.  Out on another girls night (really should stop going out, would proably fix the problem).  My girlfriend and I were having a great time, dancing, socializing when along game this gorgeous man.  I was trying get my friend to go and talk him up as she was just getting out of her marriage and she definately needed the attention.  But not being as adventerous and outgoing as I am she was hesitant so of course I made the first move.  We were all chatting (he was there with another pilot who was less than desirable) and he started joking about taking me to a bathroom stall and having his way with me.  The evening continued with a lot of sexual enuendos until the bar was closing.  He asked if we wanted to go to his hotel room for a drink but that he would have to try and get rid of his co-pilot as he was married and didn't want him to know that he was taking a couple of girls up to his room.  So we said our goodbyes and watched his co-pilot go up the elevator.  My friend had to go make a phone call so she left me alone with my pilot.  As soon as the door closed he grabbed me and we started kissing, and feeling, and undressing each other (except for my knee high boots).  I asked if he had a condom and he said he did and that I should go and get it in his flight jacket..hence confirming that he was actually a pilot.  We had to make it quick as my friend was waiting for me but it was still a really good fuck session and we exchanged email address so that we could keep in contact.  He flew into the city I lived in quite regularly.  For me this was the perfect Lover...see him once a month or so.  Unfortunately I moved away from there a few months later so I only got to see him a few more times.  I still hear from him once in a while but knowing that we probably will never see each other again there isn't much point of keeping the communication up.

Kat

After Big came....bits and bites

So after I crossed the line with Big, it seemed to just open up the gates for me, all of a sudden, I could no longer say "No, I just can't". I mean really why would I stop, when I had already crossed the line, I was already going to the 'second level of hell' (first and lowest level, reserved for really bad people...second level for those of us who just had way too much fun outside of the moral boundaries).

Truthfully, there seems to have been so many now that I probably will forget some, but the chronology as well as I remember it is as follows:

1. Orchard Guy - we went to a race,and there was an after party. My friend asked me to go and chat up this guy she thought was really attractive. So off I went, thanks to liquid courage and my nature, and started chatting with him and his friend. I dragged them out to dance, for my friend, but then my friend seemed more keen on his buddy. So we kinda switched it up. We were all sitting around talking and drinking and then the night was drawing to a close. I was not leaving without a kiss (I got this in my head). So I dragged Orchard Guy (and there had been some sexual discussions up to this point), down into the orchard, and we began to kiss, then lots of groping, hands in pants. Then my friend came down to get me, while she was there, he also kissed her and tried to get her to touch his cock, she giggled and could not believe what was happening and ran away, too freaked out to stay. Then we carried on, next thing I knew he had pushed me onto the ground, and was taking my pants off, I told him we needed a condom, and low and behold, he had one! and we started to fuck! Meanwhile in the background, my friend were shouting for me to come...so we never fucked to completion, I scrambled around to find my clothes etc and off I went. Well, one week later, I run into them at another race with my husband and daughter...can you say 'awkward'! I think my daughter even commented, 'he's hot!' Yikes!

2. I think the next encounters were on our ladies' trip...Kat and I went out the first night on our own (and this is where she met AM, I think she has talked about him already), we ended up naked in a hot tub together (mostly naked) and I got limp dick and she got the prize! The next night, I made out with some guy on a patio, he was bound and determined to give me the best head I ever had...but didn't quite work out that way, plus the other gals made me go home that night, had to cut things short (see sometimes I can walk away...LOL). And the third night...ahhhh Aussie Guy, he was nice! We met in the nightclub and danced, talked and kissed, then we decided we needed to get outside. He led me to a chairlift (we were at a mountain resort) and we began to mess around. I kept saying we needed a condom. But next thing you know, we are fucking on the chairlift (a stationary one). Well, we headed back to the nightclub to meet our respective friends, his were there, mine were gone! So I had to go and find him to get him to walk me home, but I could not remember his name! (This tends to be a common theme, not so much for Kat as me, but I rarely do get a name or remember a name). Anyway, he walked me home and we were supposed to meet up the next day, but I did not input his number in my phone properly...probably a good thing. I did try to get Kat track him down for me afterward, based on his occupation given and first name (Kat is always such a good friend in this regard!), but no luck!

3. Next was FC (for French Canadian), he was in our city for a course. I was actually out with old high school friends who were visiting, so I was ready to behave myself that night. Well, my friends were not! Both married of course! The three of us gals were chatting, when all of sudden the one sister took off to go talk to a group of guys. Next thing she is making out with one of the guys! Well, that just opened up the evening now didn't it! I got chatting with FC. He was probably the only single guy in the group, so I didn't really think I was going to get any action. It was actually just a nice, fun conversation (gee I am capable of those sometimes!) As the night went on, we moved bars and the girls were both flirting with different guys. It was time to go though and I made FC walk us back to our hotel. The two sisters went to bed, and FC and I began to kiss by the elevators (which was kinda dangerous as it was my husband's place of employment!) Anyway, it was hot, and juices were flowing. I knew I had to get to the room. These other gals knew i was flirtatious, maybe kissed, but did not know any more than that, I had an image to uphold! LOL So I sent him on his way, but not without getting his number. The next morning we texted back and forth, lots of fun and he was going to be in town for another week. I invited myself to his hotel room one early morning before work. Off I went, and we had the best session ever, the bed was soaked and off I went to work and he to his course. Well this was not enough, I ended up going back after work for more. He was a super sweet guy and an awesome lover, very tender and gentle but knew what he wanted. FC and I kept in touch, and still do, we have had several chat/sex sessions, phone sex, exchanged photographs, it is somewhat ongoing. I actually thought it was over as he now has a girlfriend, and communications stopped for a bit but, they have started up again and he asking for photos again In fact he is very close to me right now, an hour away from our city, for a few weeks and I am hoping he will have time to see me. Road Trip Kat?

Okay I think I will break here...so you don't get bored! I will get to PPM next in another blog, Kiwi guy and this year's ladies' trip guys....yikes!