Thursday, February 18, 2010

A...to be continued

Fek, Fek, Fek...we met, the sparks flew, we fekd 4 times (finished in the shower this morning), first guy to actually take his time and make me cum from oral, not just was the sex great, but it was different because of this crazy emotional connection we have, and he might be gone...we are meeting later today to talk about it all. I got that horrible gut feeling this morning that this may have been the first and last time we are to meet, and I called him on it and I was right. I feel like I could vomit right now! He is not feeling guilty about the wife AT ALL and I believe it, but fatherhood...he has assured me not to throw in the towel yet, but I think I already know where the conversation is going to go.

Of course all I want to do now is go out and just fuck some random guy, cause I am feeling that maybe that is all I deserve! I am hurt, angry, embarrassed and more...I hate this shit!!!!!

But stay tuned, you never know what could happen.

7 comments:

  1. Awwwww Agnes, don't overanalyze this. If there was something than there is no way you guys are done. I think he needs to process it in his head. It's a big step for some people who are just starting on the road of infidelity. You guys will figure it out and if he does decide that this isn't what he wants than chalk it up as "a great night" and move forward. Always remember our moto "it is what it is". I was a bit worried about you and getting so connected emotionally with this man but sometimes there is nothing we can do about that. Always know that I will be here to pick you up just as you do for me when I feel like shit. Now chin up my friend. ;)

    We may not have the perfect men in our lives but we do have each other and I think that is more perfect than anything. Now if only we were lesbians, we would have the perfect relationship..LOL

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  2. Kat gives the best advice! And like I said also - give it some time - the immediate guilt feelings afterwords subside over time. If he is new to this - its especially going to be raw for awhile. I remind myself daily "it is what it is" and I can only control so much! Thinking of you and hoping it goes well.

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  3. Is this relationship just about the sex, or something more? What have you envisioned happening between you two, long-term, or has that not entered into it yet?

    If it's just sex, then be content with that. If you expected something more, then it would be good to know if he felt the same way, or had similar expectations.

    Now, about you and Kat being lesbians . . .

    [yes, I'm teasing ;-)]

    XO

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  4. JIM!!! You make an excellent point. We do not go into this with long term expectations but sometimes it you do have an emotional connection (only because we are woman and that is how we role). It sucks ass but what can you do. As Agnes knows I try really hard to keep my emotions in tacked when it comes to hooking up to the point that I don't even want to talk about shit my family life, work life, etc. I would prefer to keep that seperate and apart. But sometimes you just can't help it and you actually become "friends" with the person you are not supposed to be sleeping with. Does that make sense? Anyways we either have to learn to deal with it or get out..plain and simple. Wow I'm feeling really deep today..haha

    GLNO..thanks for thinking I give good advice. For Agnes and I it is back and forth...we bounce off each other (Jim get your mind out of the gutter). When one is falling off the ledge other one reels us back into reality.

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  5. Okay, okay...let me address the comments...as you are aware so far, if you have been reading my contribution to this blog, up until now I have been having NSA sex (is that the term we use?). But when I decided to go online it was to find a lover, with an emotional connection and low and behold A also wanted that. So, from the get go (a whole two weeks now?), it was clear we wanted this to be emotional, sexual and long term, we committed to be monogamous (ok I cheated on that last weekend, but tried really hard...LOL). So, I did start to throw my heart and soul into this, I was terrified, but was prepared to do it. And now here I am, invested, but now on hold, until he can sort out things out at his end of things...Patience is not one of my virtues! I jus got back from lunch and coffee with him and we completely talked things through (plus of course I tried to get him to have sex again...man he is strong-willed, but his cock did go hard!). Now I wait and see, he said it is not over yet...we will see how things play out once he gets home.

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  6. Agnes, girlfriend, take it from me - I've been where you are. It's ok to feel that emotional connection, but you MUST take care to guard your heart. A lot of men will tell you anything they think you want to hear in order to get you into bed... and then withdraw after they've accomplished that. There's no avoiding it, unfortunately; but if you guard yourself, hopefully you won't be crushed by it.

    Oh, and... don't wait around too long for him to sort things out. Give him a deadline.

    HUGS...

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  7. Thanks Ms. Scarlett...I did totally let my guard down, there was writing on the wall, and I chose to ignore it, and take a chance. Live and Learn, Kat's new mantra!

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