Saturday, April 3, 2010

I hate weekends...

I actually love weekends, but it is most definitely slow on communications with those of us who are married ie. family etc blah blah blah. But for me, my husband works every Saturday (and of course this good Friday), so two days all by myself to get into trouble, but no one to get into trouble with!

I have been a bit quiet, mostly due to all that is going on around me. Kat's situation has strongly affected me, not just on the level that it could easily have been me, but because I am watching my friend going through all this and she is hurting deeply (she was on that road despite recent events), and as a result I hurt for her too (she is my twin afterall, mini-me so to speak!).

I have been trying to make some changes. Giving up men altogether is not an option...yet! But the nature of it has changed. I was starting to feel a bit cheap, and not being true to who I am as a person. I actually went out on Thursday night and did not end up in a hotel room. Okay, I was not totally innocent, I did APPARENTLY kiss a 22 year old (doesn't really count as I have no recollection of the event), and I did kiss another guy in our cab on the way home (but I did not go to the hotel room, he was offering to get). But that all was alcohol induced, which has also led me to another decision this weekend, NO MORE VODKA!!!!!! Many bad decisions have been made on those nights.

I have met two men recently from AM (well one physically) and another just online and we hope to meet face to face on Tuesday. The fellow I met up with is a very nice man, we just had coffee. I am not really physically that attracted to him, and I have told him that (in a nice way of course), but I really enjoy talking to him (not even dirty talk). He is a very successful businessman and very interesting to talk with. He is also single and that worries me, again I have shared that concern. Plus, I asked him why would he want to get involved with a liar and a cheater, and he so kindly responded, 'there is more to you than that'...(hmmm probably just trying to get into my pants! LOL). Anyway, I will continue to talk to him, as it is nice to have a man friend; and so far that is where things are at. He definitely wants to take it further, I have had 4 installments so far of a story he is writing me...so far we are at a candlelit foot rub, he is just now at my panties...

The second man, I have been chatting with I am attracted to physically (well from pics anyway) and he is a jolly ol' englishman (not so ol'). Again, the conversations are fun and witty and not all about sucking cock and 'what are you wearing'. We have spoken on the phone now a few times and I love his voice (he passed the voice test), and he makes me laugh. I told him that we likely will never be able to get with each other physically as we will be laughing too hard. He told me to withhold my laughter when he takes his pants off, that would just be cruel! Anyway, he makes me giddy whenever I am chatting online or by phone, he makes me feel good about myself. I really want to take things slow, plus who knows he may really be bald, 5'4" with bad teeth?! (he keeps teasing me about that...and you never know with some of these AM guys).

There is a third guy, my eastern boy, I have chatted on the phone a few times, he is very physically attractive, funny, down to earth, but very driven by sex. He told me he wants to have me at least 20 times to himself before we add a third! LOL Again, a man who makes me laugh. I am just not sure I am ready for that. It's funny, I have had so much sex in the last year, it is like I want to 'virgin-ize' myself again...is that possible? does that make any sense?

I am also missing my special friend who I have been chatting with and who always makes me feel so good. See....I hate weekends, spring break, easter...really is cutting into me getting the attention I love and crave!

Anyway, Happy Easter everyone...hope you are all having a wonderful weekend, hopefully some of you are getting lucky, I will let you know how my meeting goes on Tuesday with the englishman!

And I was going to post an HNT pic this week, but things got a bit sidetracked...maybe next Thursday...maybe I will just use Kat as my body-double!

3 comments:

  1. Happy Easter to you too Agnes. You sound like a version of me (but probably much younger!) xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think we all get thru those phases of feeling cheap or empty, or wondering if this is all worth it, wanting to lay low for a while, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Meeting on Tuesday post-poned with englishman...family troubles! I sure know how to pick'em!

    But my special friend is back, and we did get to enjoy each other today...

    ReplyDelete