Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Updates...

Well, what's been going? Hmmmm....well I am Italy bound soon for a family vacation. I will be away for almost a whole month, and my internet access will be very limited, as well my access to my men! Whatever shall I do...last trip away with my husband I managed to steal a kiss with a hot mexican fellow...wonder if I will be able to steal a kiss in the corridors of Venice...mmmmmmm...stay tuned!

Meanwhile back at the ranch, so to speak, I continue to see French Guy and Single Guy. The meetings with French Guy are pretty frequent, but just never long enough. Our meetings for now are restricted to the beach, and my car. It is kind of cute, I drive a Versa, and the other day French Guy said he was driving behind a "versatile" just like mine, I responded 'why yes, it is very versatile...' (he actually did not intend to type that, it was his spellcheck but now it is our running joke). Anyway, French Guy and I are hoping to get some naked alone time before I leave on vacation. It may work out this Saturday. We are growing very fond of each other and had quite the discussion the other day, we both admitted that if we took the sex out (which we would never do, hahaha) we really do like and care for each other, but we both agreed we need to keep it in check as neither of us want to change up our situations. But these are feelings I have definitely not had for anyone yet, not to this degree anyway. It is scary. And then I made a huge mistake the other night, I ended up having a few too many drinks (damn vodka again, you think I would learn), and while I thought I had stopped texting him when he said goodnight, apparently I kept on and I wrote an email telling him I loved him! Well that email combined with the fact that his daughter was the first to read my messages in the morning (thank goodness no names were used and he was able to put out that fire), he had real concerns about my sanity! After much discussion, and me kissing ass I assured him I do not love him, nor do I want ot jeapardize his or my situations at home. I mean it really was the booze talking. As Kat counselled me, it is like saying 'I love you man' or 'you are my best friend ever', we feel the love when we drink. And while I do feel extremely fond of French Guy, I AM NOT IN LOVE with him. I am still trying to figure out what the word means to me, as these days it is thrown around so easily (sorry I digress, perhaps that is another blog topic). Anyway, I snuck out and saw French Guy last night and we kissed and made up. At one point he looked at me and said, 'you are thinking...what are you thinking about'. After I drove away, I sent a text, 'I was thinking how much I enjoy kissing you and seeing you, and how I nearly blew it by being a dumb ass'. He responded, 'We kicked that elephant out of the room, and I happen to like your ass!'. I am taking from this he has forgiven me.

And then there is Single Guy, last week we waited until Friday to see each other, you know me and my Fridays! We booked a room and I met him for lunch on Friday. I have to say as an aside, he was very excited to see me last week, I was getting lots of messages in advance, it was nice. Quite often he can be a bit business like. Anyways,lunch was a great kick off to the weekend...followed up by a meeting Saturday morning. We were both looking forward to Saturday as we were going to get 4 whole hours together (a luxury!). And it was a wonderful Saturday morning spent in bed! (we even watched some world cup soccer!) While I do not have the deep feelings I have for French Guy, Single Guy and I really enjoy each other's company and we are very sexually compatible. We even fit well together when we snuggle, there is just a simplicity to our relationship. Neither of us have any expectations of the other. Whenever I ask him after we meet, 'what was the favourite part of our visit?', he always responds, 'just spending time with you'. He often tells me that from day one, I have been so easy to be around, and then he reminds me how I told him I was not attracted to him after the first meeting. The other day he even said, 'I wonder what you would be like with a man who you were attracted to after the first meeting'.

Anyway, I am savouring these times with both men as who knows maybe when I return from my trip from Italy I may give this all up. Stranger things have happened!

So those are the updates on my end of things. There could be one last blog before I leave as I am going out with Kat on Wednesday and Saturday night and you know that usually leads to trouble. Stay tuned for a post!

Ciao for now...Agnes

3 comments:

  1. I had a very similar thing happen with "Farah," but from the other side. Almost from the very beginning she was telling me (over IM) that she loved me, and I was very confused. Was it just an expression? A term of endearment? Did she mean LOVE love, or some kind of friendship love, or.... ?

    It's been a while, and I've gotten used to her, so I've now figured out... er... well, nothing, actually. I'm still not sure how she means it.

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  2. I was just talking to Agnes about the word "love". I genuinely love the man that I am seeing but not in a way that I want to spend the rest of my life with him but more on a friendship level. That I love being with him and spending time with him. It is a strong word and it does weaken the more you say it to someone. But for one reason or another I still LOVE saying it..haha

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  3. Yeah, I'm with you Kat. In that sense, "love" is exactly the right word to use. And yet... seeing it, in IM, when Farah was using it--especially earlier on--was very jarring.

    With Ashley, we use the word love with each other, but we actually had to talk about it, and make sure we each understood the way the word was intended.

    It's a powerful word. ;)

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