Thursday, July 22, 2010

Where to start!!

So much to talk about but I don't even know where to start.

First off I guess I should tell you more about what has been going on with B and I. I have had the past 5 weeks to spend more time with him and every time we are together it is more and more amazing. We just got back from a two day get away and I'm filled with a lot of emotions that I can't wrap my head around. On one hand I am saddened and I miss him whenever we are not together but on the other hand I really want to see him make it work with his wife. Why is it that I want that for him and I am not thinking about what it would be like to have a future with him...well that is actually the only simple part of this. We are completely different people who lead completely different lifestyles. It is impossible for me to lead his and I'm pretty sure that he would be miserable in my world. Are we using each other??? Possibly. We may just be each others transition, his into understanding his marriage more and me into understanding how much I enjoy being without my husband.

The one thing that I can honestly say I am thankful for with B is that he has allowed me to see that my previous lifestyle (multiple men) is definitely not the way to go. I'm sorry to disappoint all of you that enjoyed reading about my adventures or misadventures I should say. However, it was not something that I was proud of. I understand why woman/men do it. It is an addiction of sorts and definitely fun and the more you do it the more you want it but the more demoralizing it is as well.

I know that B is not going to last forever but for right now he is what I want and I hope that we can continue our relationship without getting more attached than we already are.

2 comments:

  1. I believe in quality over quantity. I'm glad you find what you need with one guy to focus on! And I'm envious about the litte getaway... :)

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  2. Don't worry about us. ;) I'd rather read about you being happy than about you doing 8 guys a day and being miserable. (Plus, if you were doing 8 guys a day, you probably wouldn't have time to write about it anyway... hehe)

    And I'm happy that things are going well with B. Just because it won't last doesn't mean you can't enjoy it while it does. (Although, I guess, the more you enjoy it the more there's a possibility that the ending will be even harder. What a complicated life we sometimes lead...)

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