Monday, January 10, 2011
Well, I was just looking back to see when I last posted and had to laugh to see that it was my "Beer for Sex"! Let me just say first, Kat and I truly enjoyed that beer over the holidays...and even enjoyed a beer or two in front of the Kiwi and his wife at a social event over the holidays; it was hard to hold back our grins from ear to ear, as we sipped away!
It is a bit of a blurr now but it was a time both FG and I had looked forward to pretty much since the last time his family went away (in the summer). This was even better though as I also had some vacation time. We saw each other almost every day his family was gone, I would go over to his house during the day while my daughter slumbered and my husband was at work. It was a luxury that both of us are now paying the price for, in that we are missing each other sooooo much; it's like a switch went off. We even got our overnighter, thanks to Kat!
The overnighter was not our best night of sex, but it was a wonderful night which included dinner, movie, chatter, wine, and too much Drambuie for FG (he cracked me up, he never or rarely gets to drink at home so when he called from the liquor store to ask if I wanted a liquer I laughed, and then in he walks with a bottle of drambuie, which he thoroughly enjoyed...but I think had an affect on his ability to cum...finally by 6 a.m. we had a session to completion!). Don't get me wrong, we had fun while trying, but I have this thing...I need to feel a sense of accomplishment. He did say it all felt good and he was enjoying myself, but mentally for me if a guy does not cum, I feel I have failed? (PLEASE MEN, ADD A COMMENT TO THIS POST IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO OFFER IN THIS REGARD). Anyway, it was wonderful to wake up together, have coffee in bed, and then I made him breakfast...saying goodbye that day was not so much fun. Plus the weekend was approaching and I knew I would be less available with the hub home.
But when the new week came and the hub went back to work, we were able to squeeze in a few more visits, the last being incredibly hot. I was telling Kat that for the first time, I was quite turned on by having my hands tied up (FG has done this before, but usually I know I can easily escape). But this time, the belt was fastened securely and even hurt a bit, but it actually added to my pleasure (is that sick?). I knew I was in complete control, in that if I wanted him to stop he would have; but I didn't. With every thrust he would tighten the belt and it increased all of the sensations I was feeling.
Just the ability to sit on his couch in the living room and talk about our days, our lives, and have our bodies intertwined, stealing kisses (of course the sitting on the couch led to a trip up the bedroom everytime!), was so wonderful. It was also an interesting time with FG. While I loved spending this time with him, I also got to know him better, and it made me realize that while I love what we have right now, and the sex keeps getting better and better, I could never live with him (not for any major reason, just the quirks). It's quite cute we talk about visiting each other at our apartments. I think if I am ever not married, I will not get remarried or live with someone. The idea of you each having your own space seems wonderful to me.
So here I am post-FG...and since last Friday we have had to email or text, today I finally got a call in. It's so hard not to be able to text or call any time we want. We are both really missing each other right now. And while Kat will tell me to suck it up, blah blah blah, and while I know I have been lucky to have had all that time, I cannot control the feelings I am having. Especially when hub and I are barely talking, planning trips together, but barely talking! Go figure!
So the new year, I have a feeling and which I want it to be, will be a year of many changes! Positive ones! I have started my fitness regime (well it started before xmas), but there will be an addition or two, and I am going to watch what I eat, try to gain back some control in that regard. And I have begun, once again, my search for a new career, but this time I will follow through! I have to! The beginning of the year is all about ME, and figuring ME out (and I have to be honest, I feel very selfish and self-indulgent but i know if I want to make any changes, I must do this). And I am hoping that with this self discovery and self-fulfillment (and not just in my vibrator ha ha) there will be changes to my marriage (whether we part or start to grow back together) - this is an area of my life I would like resolved this year, one way or the other.
Happy New Year Everyone! May we all find what we are looking for and deserve in a healthy and positive way...(seeing FG still is healthy, right? maybe the odd BJ for Kiwi, and Single Guy really does give good head...hmmmm...this might be harder than I thought).
Cheers for now!