Wednesday, July 27, 2011

They call me Sybil...

Seriously I think I may have a split personality...

So here I write about my love and troubles with FG and my confusion with hub - pretty serious stuff and all consuming of my thoughts. But a midst those thoughts I also cannot stop thinking of a very fine man Friday night when out with the girls, who just happened to message me on FB while on vacation with his daughter! (clearly I am on his mind as well?!)

He approached me Friday night and we ended up chatting and even had a kiss (which was amazzzzzzinnnggggg - what he was doing with his tongue, I can only imagine when transferred to the right place, what it would do to me!). He did invite me back to his place that night for wine and ??? but I was out with friends, and one in particular who does not know of my wicked ways, and in all honesty I was not wanting to "cheat" on FG, or further cheat on my husband for that matter (I know that is hard for some of you to believe!). I am just really trying not to clutter things up...but the draw for this kind of attention is so strong for me still. And because it is, I wonder if I will ever be able to stop?!

And then there is sweet Swiss Mister! He will be here in 34 days!!!! (he has started the countdown) It has been two years since I saw him last but yet we both still have this incredible desire to see each other. Kat and I laughed this morning, she said it really is quite amazing how he has stayed in touch...I said "I know, I can't even keep the local ones" (of course referring to FG, as we know Kiwi and Big are still circling!).

How can I be so torn up about FG and dealing with a real issue like my 22 years of marriage that is in limbo, and then entertain thoughts of being with these other guys? Who does that? It's like there are at least two parts of me...like the dinner and dessert stomach! I have never been able to resist DESSERT!

Maybe this is just me, and is yet another reason for me not to be married anymore. At least if I am not married, I am not cheating or lying...but the thing is I am getting OLD...how long will people be attracted to me...my frickin' boobs are starting to sag...I guess I could start going for older men? ha ha...

So many more temptations coming for me too, I have a mixed soccer tourney soon with lots of boys!!! Some of whom have already expressed they want to get with me...add alcohol and I am theirs!!!! When will I ever be able to say "no"...I have been saying some "no's" but it is hard, there is this struggle inside of me, it is insane! Insane = Sybil (for those of you unsure of the reference to Sybil...just google!). I want to start doing the right thing, the thing that makes me feel good.

p.s. ...and still no further word from FG....

3 comments:

  1. ...how long will people be attracted to me...my frickin' boobs are starting to sag...

    Reality is: the older you are (as a woman) the more "competition" there is...and the slimmer the pickings. You could find yourself old...with saggy tits...and ALONE.

    What do they call that? Oh yeah, justice.

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  2. Funny how all the jabs come from the "Anonymous" readers.

    Justice? Care to explain...

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  3. I for one quite enjoy a natural sagging breast. Sure beats anything augmented and superficial. Disregard the anonymous.. there are plenty of guys out there that would adore your body as is Agnes.

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