Friday, February 17, 2012

In deep...

Okay, I guess I just don't do slow...I guess I am just one of those people that when I am in I am in...there is no dipping toes, just full immersion...I am using words to say, "let's go slow" but my body and heart are in a place way farther ahead than my mind...and it is terrifying and exciting all at the same time!

That's right PC and I are 22 days in, and it feels like we have known each other forever, or a very long time...many firsts for him and for me too...I know this is hard to believe but I have never been thrown up onto my counter top before...I gasped, in an excited kind of way. I don't think anyone has ever pleasured me over and over and over and over like PC has...he is all about me (don't worry I make him feel very good too!).

Some days I think there must be something wrong with me that I can feel so connected so fast, but I just am, and the feeling is completely mutual. And the best thing, we have had full disclosure (well no one will ever get full disclosure from me with respect to this blog and all that has been shared). The promiscuous Agnes is no longer, but I feel I can give full honesty to PC from this point forward and so far matters that needed to be shared have been shared. I mentioned I had a boyfriend (FG) but he has not made any inquiries and I have offered none.

While things are going wonderfully...I do miss FG and I do still love him, those feelings never go away, they have changed though...there is not an ache or desperation, there is just a fondness and quite honestly a little disappointment that he could not be the one I could be openly dating. While he was far from perfect (and I know I am too), we still had good times and also a strong connection. I know he would be happy for me having met PC, but I feel sad as I think it will be some time before he gets to a place that he can have this; he will though I know. I did see him on the highway the other day, and I shook for the rest of day....I actually knew I would see him, the feelings were so very strong. We just waved and drove on...and no word since.

So PC stayed over last night, and he will again tonite...can hardly wait...then it is usually days before we see each other again, which is working well so far. I need to work on my "aloneness" while some of you may embrace that, I struggle with that. But I am a work in progress and feeling good about a lot of the changes I have made.

P.S. Big called me last week, they never go away...I should have told him that I was seeing someone, instead I just put him off...I can't figure out why I keep that trailing...maybe cause he was my first, maybe cause there was never an emotional attachment, who knows..or maybe it is because he has the biggest cock I have ever been with! ha ha